Just Words

I said "I love you" today
I tried hard to make you believe it
I tried hard to believe it myself
But the truth is that I hate you my love
I hate you now
and I hated you when I said it
When I look into your eyes
all that I can see
is a string of broken promises
lies stacked upon lies
things that you wanted to do but never tried
and the countless missed opportunities created by
the millions of precious moments I'll never get back
Yes, I hate you
I hate who you are
I hate what you've made me
and most of all I hate what we've become
Even if I could love you
and all of your cruel ways
I could never love what we've become
a sickening, rotten display of denial
a putrid example of naivete run amok
and a horrid case of idealism gone too far
I don't love you
but I love who you were supposed to be
I love what I thought you were
but you never understood yourself
you never make an attempt to understand me
and now no one
not even the Gods above
can understand us
So why, why do I say I love you?
Is it a reflex
or perhaps just words uttered in fear?
No, my love, I say I love you because they are just words to me
words like any other in the language
the only difference is that they're the ones you want to hear
and until you want to hear others
I'll repeat them to you again and again and again
just because I've lost the will to fight
I've lost the heart to argue
and I truly don't care enough to speak the truth
If that's your idea of love
then I hope you enjoy it
It's the way you made me
the way you taught me
the way you groomed me
and I hope you enjoy your "I love yous"
because I know you've worked so hard for them
and even though they're shallow and wasted
they're just like the love we share
I think even you can agree
that they're the perfect words for you
even if they're words just like
any other words in the language.