The Darkest Hours

There are times when the world is just too much. When fate, fortune and the will of man all turn against us and the deck is simply stacked too deep for us to come out ahead. These are times when a stiff upper lip and a drive to push on simply aren’t enough. These are times of desperation, of hopelessness and of isolation.

Many turn to their faith, hoping and praying for relief, others reflect within, searching for answers within themselves when none can be found in the world around them. But no matter where you turn or where you look, you always learn about yourself and, in that small regard, our darkest times can be turned into our most valuable asset.

For when we’re just going about our lives, we’re practically standing still. We’re not changing or making any effort to improve, we’re simply drifting. With shifts happening over months and years and little idea where we’re going, just a vague idea of where we’ve been, we learn nothing and grow little.

The moments that move us not only change us, but show us the direction that we’re heading. For the first times in our lives, we see who we really are, what we’re becoming and are given the power to change it. Through the tears, pain and loss comes a sense of opportunity, a chance to rebuild, to improve and to grow.

In the long run, we are defined more by our dark times than the times we were just surviving. Our darkest hours are the ones that cast the sharpest contrast on our life, change us the most and make us who we are.

Though that doesn’t reduce the sting of those times when we’re in the thick of them, nor is it meant to, it means that there is always hope, a chance for a brighter future and better days. For no destruction takes place without presenting and opportunity for recreation and no dark times can pass without providing valuable lessons and a chance to become something stronger.

So yes, right now we need to cry our tears and mourn our losses. Yes, we need to deal with the tragedies that have surrounded us and cope the best that we can. But through it all, we must remember that the future is being written today, even as history is being destroyed.

Finally, we must remember that when we emerge from these times, no matter when that is, we’ll all be changed people, wiser, stronger and with a new understanding of who we are. We must use that to work toward creating a better future, a greater tomorrow.

That’s the only way to ensure that what was lost hasn’t perished in vain and the only way to paint a picture of our lives defined not by the darkest hours, but by the lessons learned from them.

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22 Responses to The Darkest Hours

  1. Christina says:

    Very true.

  2. AuLani says:

    True. If everyone saw this, there might be fewer suicides.

  3. Galuwen says:

    Even though am in West Viginia, my heart goes out to you and everyone down south. It seems like am not the only one. The whole state has helped one way or the other. I can't even begin to guess how you feel right. Nor tell you some big speech that lifts your heart. All I can do right now is tell you that a 25 year old red headed girl from WV, is thinking about you and wishes you bright times ahead.

  4. ripped_soul says:

    How could a child you carry for 9 months…and risk death having…protected..loved..did what you thought was right for her…only wanted the best for her even though you had nothing to give her except your could that child be so crule and stand in your face and lie..get others in on the lie and try to destroy you..have you jailed or even trying to find ways to have you killed…how..just tell me how..if not how..why?
    No one can answer the here I am with a personal message for one of your writers.
    To Melia in F.C..NC
    From my life and my memory, God willing, you will be erased. You have no home here. You made your choice now live with it. As I will die with the choice you made. I hope a bed of lies is a good place to rest, because that is where you will be sleeping.
    After this..I never want to see your face again. I hope someday I can stop waking up after seeing your face in my dreams the way you left this house which..not always happy…was your home.I have no child. To me you do not exist anymore.Neither do those who helped you in this matter. My family is now only my husband..and those few friends who have stuck by my side. The knife I use to cut you out of my heart is as hot as a fire poker. It is cutting out the icy love you gave me. I have also cut you out of every other part of my life. If you ever need anything, never come to me and ask. I am dead to you…so is your father..and his family..and certain friends.And because you hate us so much, we know you wont have any problem living with that.
    FC..NC..For now

  5. Shawna says:

    I agree with you on this matter the the bad things that happen in life are the ones that stick out farther in your memory than any other, they are things you'llnever forget.

  6. kitty says:

    the whole comment about disowning your child. you say "how could your child that you've carried for 9 months….lie to you.." well…how can a mother that carried their child for 9 months…raised their child how they see fit…and "loved their child all these years" – tell me how can a mother who has done all of those things cut their child out of their life forever even if it's the childs wishes…and how can a parent let lies- very painful words- take all that youve provided for your child away? tell me that.

  7. Matt says:

    An excellent ellaboration(sp) on "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Proverbs tend to offer little comfort in a time like this, but retrospect will allow us to wax philosophic.
    That said, I'm vaguely confused concerning the note left by ripped_soul. I don't suppose it in any way concerns myself, but I am curious why she chose the comments section of a personal gothic literature site for a method of communication.

  8. ripped_soul says:

    I might sound heartless..but I posted this for the child…sorry she wants to play adult now..the adult to read. She is mad at me because I let my husband adopt her. Well…her 'real' father met us in the court house and signed her away and shes mad at me for that?
    Shes mad at me because I have a crippling illness and can not take her shopping. Yeah thats it..I wanted to get this way on purpose..please.
    Shes mad at me because I divorced her father..the blood one..well it was either do that..or live with a drunk and her without food, cloths, or a roof over her head.
    Shes mad at me because we only went on day outtings when we could afford it..and one weekend vacation. yeah..guess I shouldnt have paid those bills..maybe I should have left her without power, water, heat, and taken her to Bush Gardens.
    Shes mad at me because I couldnt afford designer cloths for her. She was always dressed in style though and the cloths came from WalMart.
    Shes mad at me because I wouldnt let her go off with her friends when ever she wanted. Lets letting a child in a car with people I dont know, going God knows where, doing God knows what..yeah Im bad arent I?
    Shes mad at her adopted dad for adopting her. Hmm have to love and want a child to do that.
    Shes mad at him because he didnt hug her everyday 50 times a day. Well lets see..she had cloths, food, got to go a few places, was always encouraged to have friends over,was in chours at school and we both went to the shows, was in a couple of plays that he made damn sure she got to rehersal each time, she was taken to the doctor when she was sick and everything else.
    Shes mad at him because he didnt make as much money as her friends fathers or her cousins fathers. But she was given 10 or 20 bucks each week even if it meant we do without something we needed.
    She had the family call DSS on us saying we where abusing her. I guess trying to do all we could to show her we loved her and make sure she was provided for was abuse. Then when they got herre, she backed us up. Then decided she wanted to marry what she said was her only true love. Because of the way DSS put things..'we might still come and take her and charge you' we gve her choices. Choice #1)go to Job Corps for a few months, get your high school education faster then go on to college. Lots of 17 y/o's go to college.
    Choice #2)go to the west coast and live with your aunt and uncle for a bit and finish school then come home. Oh bad us..wanting to send her to a rich aunt & uncle where she would get a better education, and do some world traveling. Shame on me huh?
    Choice #3)become an adult..go ahead and get married…you and he can stay here till school is over and stay here as long as you want to go go back to Canada with him..which she kept swearing she wanted to do. She wanted to marry him and refused to listen to chioce #4.
    Choice #4)stay here with us and risk DSS ripping us apart.
    So the guy comes from Canadian. They get the license…they are 22 hours away from getting married…and she calls an uncle here and runs off…telling how I tried to force her into something she swore she never wanted to do. Making up stories of abuse.Stories about how we never bought her cloths. She had a walkin closet and 2 dressers full of cloths. As for shoes..try over 14 pair of shoes and for going places…omg her dad took her to church then out to eat..yeah thats bad for her right? And I would try and get her out once in a while when I could and away from the computer she told the family she was forced to stay on over 6 hours a day.
    Yeah..we screwed her life up alright..we must be bad parents right? I mean we loved her..we did all we could for her before we did for ourselfs..and she ran off because we where so bad.
    How could I turn my back on her…its not easy..that is why my soul is ripped..and my heart is shattered all to peices.I can not go near her and had to give up my rights…rights..thats a funny thing when it comes to a 17 y/o..I have the right to pay for her and any screw ups but I have no right to raise her decent if thats not what she wants..but I had to give them all up so we and other family members and friends would not be tossed in jail and face a trail I was told we wouldnt be believed in anyway..not even if the JC himself where a witness for us. We tried to show them we had proof she lied and we where told to stop it or go to jail. We cant afford a lawyer..and no lawyer will take the case pro bono. Left with no choice…we had to turn our backs..we have to go on…and we only hope and pray in time she understands what shes put us through. Theres your answer kitty…deal with it..Thats what we're trying to do..

  9. Matt says:

    … The Prodigal Son. Unconditional love, ripped_soul, that's parenthood.

  10. DyingYouth says:

    So true, if only I had relized this sooner my life would have been more bareable, though not easier. Difficult times also show who you are at your core, the real you. If you are willing to close your home and your heart to your own children what does that say about you? I'm not critisizing you but a word of advice: Love your children unconditionaly, to close your heart means that you are holding a grudge and that will hurt you more than anyone. Give her a place to come when she falls and you may still be able to mend your relationship. Don't give up on her, keep trying ripped_soul.

  11. ripped_soul says:

    I gave unconditional love…look where it got got my soul..completely ripped out.I gave up everything except breathing so she could have everything she needed..if any think Im over stating..I invite you to my home to see for yourself..If I dont turn my heart as cold as I can get it rigt now..the madness will take over and insanity will win…The only ting that can make me whole again is if she walks through the door..hugs me and tells me shes sorry and still loves me…But even time for that is running out..I will be MIA very soon…By the first week in Oct. I wont be living here anymore and no one around here will be able to find me.I cant sit here and hope and wait..I'll go insane. If she doesnt need me anymore..I'll just go somewhere I am needed, and wanted. Her choice..she made it..she walked out..clocks ticking if she wants to walk back in..I wont be back in this area for at least 10 years.
    Amelia..if your reading any of this..think hard lil girl…I was ALWAYS the one constant in your life..I was ALWAYS there when you needed me..Whos going to be there now?

  12. dyingyouth says:

    Amilea, you mother clearly loves you, so if you read this go back to her. You are both in a hard situation and I advise that you both swallow your pride and forgive each other. Family is the most important thing there is.

  13. Serith says:

    I'm silent as always, and I apoligize for this; yet its hard to say my thoughts when they're already expressed…

  14. forever_lost616 says:

    I find this so true and like what everything feels like to me right now, as I believe that I have nothing and anything I do have means absolutely nothing at all, and it do0es not have a purpose except to bring me down even more than I am.

  15. zeth says:

    i got your email today and i appreciate that it was you that rought me be back unlike most people that have automated email replies.

  16. Infinitemadness says:

    Its so hard to see you. It will be even harder to say goodbye. It will be hard to wake up in the morning and not see you there. It will be hard not to see you smile anymore. Or laugh. So hard. Whatever life brings you, I hope it will be better then the last 8 years of your life that you gave to me. Thank you for it however. Time will pass, we both will carry on. Its not the end of the world. Even though the pain will crush our very hearts that we both stood upon when we shared them. My love stricken soul probably will never forgive myself for not being a better friend. Thats what hurts the most. I lost myself when I came to realize that I said, "I have no friends anymore…" When all in all, you were my only friend. I took that for granted. I trampled all over our friendship like it was yesterdays garbage, and not even thought a second of it. Thats the most hurtful thing Ive told myself in years. Until now. Im now telling my only friend that I dont want to continue on with our lives together. Im killing the only other part of me that I ever truly loved. The Betrayal that I have committed, may you forgive me. Some day I pray. What blasphamy. Horrible. I only blame myself. I will have to live forever knowing that I was apart of the destruction of our marriage. Just wanted to get that out. Thanks for the rant.

  17. Brittany says:

    damn that is really good and i think i could learn something from this. i think if everyone would read this the world would be better off. just reading this could change lives forever

  18. angela says:

    There is alot of junk on the net but occassionly you find a bit of wisdom. You can tell just by reading it that the author knows what they are talking about because you can hear the truth in every word and you left gutted because it touches you so deeply.

  19. jillian says:

    it was very true and unforgetable

  20. skitz says:

    usually, this kinda stuff seems to show no hope for the future. this was not one of those things. maybe things aren't so bad

  21. Pulse says:

    well i love that rant its so true but our choices put other people through shit even if they start the conversation that makes you cry for weeks or whatever it probably doesnt affect them as much though but if you get someone takin away from you or your best friends dump you or whatever the problem is, it can and will make you stronger it makes you who you are and i dont regret any of the things i've done because it made me who i am today and i'm kinda proud of who i am but i make the dumbest mistakes on earth sometimes so it really scares me when people ask me for advice.

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