Seven Years

Seven years
I've spent trying to dodge the lies
living life from joy
to meaningless joy
filling the void with shameful highs
and pretending it's the dream I kept inside

I've given into temptation
until there's nothing left to surrender
and now I only see tearful nights awaiting me
as I stare into my future's horizon

Because it's just another need to me
like the food I eat
it's hunger cured with shame
and a pain that stains my pillow
when I try to rest on those empty nights
wasted where I don't belong
getting things I'll never need

I never beat my demons
just changed them ones with smiling faces
while carrying promises never meant to be held
I pretended everything was fine
when I was more broken than ever
just a shell of who I could have been
and a shadow of what I was before

I want to turn and face the truth
but how can I fight who I am
How can I conquer what I need
when I feel it beating within my veins

So as I lay here
temporarily pacified
with tears of shame streaked across my face
and broken promises ringing in my head
I cower in the dark again
too weak to stand up to myself
powerless to challenge who I am
even as the world plays my weaknesses
like a bow on a violin
I know the struggle will never end
only abated by momentary joys

Even when gazing into the eyes of love
I'm just a pathetic soul
born again just to be sacrificed
like so many times before
in these seven years
I've lived through the blur of addict's eyes
where highs are lows
and everything in between is a bed of lies
and though I see the truth now
and gaze upon my sins with open mind
the world remains unchanged

For it's seven years until tomorrow
tomorrow when I'll be broken again
just another empty day
spent bowing before my vices
while trying to call it life
between dodging the lies
and living the meaningless joys
I've come to know so well

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68 Responses to Seven Years

  1. Angela says:

    very powerful… i love it

  2. 'Violet' says:

    That was absolutely beautiful.

  3. dwb says:

    Try writing shorter poems — ten to fifteen lines at most. Aim for conciseness, clarity, and force.

    "In limitations a master is known"

  4. LoNe says:

    beautiful and very moving. excellent

  5. Zero says:

    I know how you feel… and its good to know im not the only one.

  6. Shelly says:

    Sorry, but I did not understand any of this. Again, sorry, but not one of your best.

  7. Chelsea says:

    umm, honestly this is just what I tried to interpret it as, but it would be really awesome if you could perhaps email me and give me a few guidelines on what you were thinking when you wrote it. I am assuming that poem was about drugs or maybe just addictions of any kind. how none of it is real and just an escape so you don't have to face who you really are. Eventually you crash and burn and you pretend everything is ok but really, its the worst it could possibly be. how horrible it feels when you give in to that certain temptation and all of the shame that comes with the high. oh and hey, I am so glad you updated!

  8. ilia says:

    You know i actually like this poem, it seems filled with emotion like you've done something and craved it, then regreted it, but honestly i got kindda lost.. But i do love the poem.. I always love your poems…

    I was wondering if you could be so kind in giving me some pointers on how to get rid of a writers block 🙁 i seem to have a bit of trouble writing lately :(..

    thanks raven.. I love all your poetry ;D

  9. 53 says:

    "Nothing is trivial"
    -Brandon Lee, The Crow
    Even vices have their place in life. The seven years you're talking about come into play in many different forms. I don't think anything comes without reason. What is success without the "starving artist" phase? The struggle will end. Amazing poem, though. I love it. You have a great gift with words. Keep it up.

  10. jules says:

    I think this is a very personal poem, maybe a bit too personal for a wider audience, which is why I feel that your words simply don't draw me in. I feel like a spectator; someone who is on the sidelines. I don't think you've opened up enough to truly communicate how you feel to your readers…I realise it's always hard to relate your most inner experiences to others, (sometimes it feels impossible) but if you want this poem to get thru and take hold of me, a lot more soul-baring is in order.

  11. Donna says:

    awsome amazing poem very moving it painted a mental pic in my head when i was reading it

  12. Hallowspacegirl says:

    You said it better than anyone. This is a beautiful poem and rarely do poems move me. I relate, that means a lot.

    Beautifully written.

  13. Robyn says:

    You're very brave to post such a personal thing here…it was beautiful. Thank you.

  14. Andrea says:

    Beautiful. One of the best in my opinion.

  15. Nemis says:

    Vey great poem man. I no what you mean and im glad im not the only one.

  16. Gina says:

    I love this poem. Neato potato mandude, keep working on s'more poems. Like this one.

  17. MonsterBrat says:

    To tell you the truth it was a very good poem. I guess you have to go through any type of addictions to really understand what you are trying to say in this piece. just remeber no one is never alone there is always someone out there like you having the same problems and such. But I do agree that it is a bit long but good. Your poetry is so easy to connect with keep it up 🙂

  18. Cayleigh says:

    Wow i was very moved by that poem well done its beautiful like all the others!

  19. Th0rn says:

    Why ddoes it seem like I feel that way. But anyway, you are indeed a poet of bravery.

  20. Lana says:

    very very good poem…i could relate to alot of what you wrote…in some way it makes you feel good that your not the only one…but thanks that was a really good poem.

  21. Black_Soul says:


    awesome poem. i love the stuff you write. I can relate to this alot. Keep up the awesome work

  22. Cyrus says:

    this poem is one of your greater works and is one that shows you truely spent a while working on this great piece of poetry. i look forward to reading more like this.

  23. Ivy says:

    It sounds familiar. . .
    I cannot put into words how much I think of this. I am in awe. I really enjoyed it.


  24. Kyrstie says:

    this poem is….amazing, there are no two ways about it
    i love the style and the feel, its self pity yet understanding and connection
    i would love to be able to write like you do
    its amazing

  25. Raven Nocturne says:

    This piece…It reflects the desolation I so often feel. I think you are grossly underappreciated, Raven. Sad yet beautiful.

  26. Ashleigh says:

    i loved it…. it is so dark. i really like it

  27. lodestar says:

    With the birds singing the plants into blossom
    The colors rising ahead of the sun
    A slight, chilled breeze through the window
    opened just a crack above the bed

    I'll make some coffee.

  28. enitharmon says:

    I agree with what dwb wrote many comments ago: write shorter poems. The mood is there, the feeling you want to express is nice, but try to say it more concisely. It will be much more powerful.

    But it will be also more difficult to write…


  29. Erica says:


  30. Courtney says:

    that was amazing! your poems always are. and as for it being long, there's no better way to have them. your poems to me, i dont want them to stop. so the longer, the better. you have a real gift that people should jealous of because they cannot write like you. you are seriously blessed. keep up the good work Raven.

  31. Raven72 says:

    Amazing. Simply amazing. This has got to be one of my favorite poems yet. This has touched me in so many ways.

  32. Shasta Sherrill says:

    This poem is great. Very moving. Keep it up.

  33. Jaunty pill says:

    " So as I lay here
    temporarily pacified
    with tears of shame streaked across my face
    and broken promises ringing in my head "

    – These are by far my favorite lines in this piece. The opening stanza features some stuck rhymes ( or what I call them: stingers ) that don't feel perfectly placed , And if you don't mind me saying so , A little bent on the cliche

    It seems almost that you started off in a different mindset and then as you went , Tried to change what it is you were saying. Which works sometimes. But here it felt like a way to expand the poem longer down the page , Instead of contemplating that next fluid or subtle

    " just changed them ones with smiling faces "

    – This line seems to me to be a tad bit wrong…
    " Ones " doesn't sound right to me in the text that you are using , And doesn't sound clear reading out loud with that last word " faces ". To be perfectly honest , I don't feel the connection with the line above that example either. It shocks me as something that has already been said so many times before , That it's lost its current meaning , And become something else. Everyone has personal demons , But isn't there a more interesting , Or poetic way to say so?

    Also , One more little thing , And then I promise I'll move onto another poem.

    That last stanza is really not needed. It overly describes a part of yourself which you could have easily included into that first stanza , Or gotten away with entirely. You are over-exemplifying to me what I was already considering throughout your piece , It again just takes away from the readers personal journey in enjoying the entirety of your piece.

    Now I understand that MOST readers want everything spelled out for them and voiced. I
    am not one of them. I need to contemplate and consider the idea of what is going on. I want to
    bring it into my own life , Without knowing everything before I've read the last line. I
    want to consider. I want to NOT know you , And still try to learn things about you at the same time. Which is not an easy thing to do. Which is also why poetry is not an easy thing to accomplish either. And obviously , writing it , Is not for everyone. Every human being can pour their emotions out. But can they do so with the satisfaction of creating interesting and new
    ways to do so. Can they keep all age boundaries attentive and people understanding , But questioning? That's where accomplishing poetry gets a lot harder.

    So in the end I believe this piece needs
    a lot more room for thoughtful constructive consideration. And some editing around some of those " stingers " or , To me , Almost forced sounding areas.

    I did not post all my constructive criticim in this post , Because I know that , To the author , There is always room for improvement. Therefore I will leave all things un-said to your own consideration with the little that I did offer.

    I hope I've helped in some way , Or at least , Given you things to consider.

    Peace goes forth ,
    The moth of endothelioma

  34. ian says:

    jaunty pill gave some pretty good criticisms, so i'll just mention briefly that i've read a number of your poems and i think you need to work on rhythm. all the poems are very personal and emotional but they rarely flow instead they read like a journal entry. the problem with this is that you end up writing soley for yourself or others who are on the same "wavelength" and exclude any casual reader from becoming involved with your words.

  35. whitney says:

    i love your poems ive read many of them and they are very moving,keep up the good,and dont ever change ur style.

  36. KiaraNightAngel says:

    Raven…don't change your style…it works…your poetry does not need rhythm…it has all the rhythm it needs, this is stream of consciousness, not elementary poetry…and most "casual readers" who visit your site can relate to most of your poetry in some way or another…I totally relate to this poem except it has been 16 years for me…KEEP UP THE EXCELLENT WORK!

  37. casey winters says:




  38. Devil's child says:

    wow Raven,
    this poem really touched my heart and at least I'm not the only one in this world who feels this way , I'm glad I readthis poem

    I really care about this web-site and this is the coolest web-site I've ever been to!!

  39. Chris Kringle says:

    True, true. Sadness surging through my veins. I love loved it.

  40. robert lasiter says:

    this almost made me ball my eyes out good job on this one i really connected to i had a relationship end this way and im still regreting it oh and sorry if ever single word isnt spelt perfectly.well alright good job oh and i bought the boook bye

  41. robert says:

    hey i love your work keep it up

  42. angela says:

    compelling.thought-provoking. wonderful. thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel.

  43. jo says:

    nice poems

  44. DarkAngel (Judy) says:

    So true….it was 17 years for me..I know all to well about"living life inside yourself"…that was the only way to make it for so long….

  45. brainsick says:

    hey i totally agree, great work. realy enjoyd it. keep posting ill keep an eye out

  46. Isabu says:

    I liked it alot it explains alot about how the world feel around me and what life seems like.

  47. Brittny says:

    What does "the world plays my weaknesses like a box on a violin" mean? That is thoroughly confusing. Great! I feel like an idiot.
    Thanks Brittny

  48. Raven says:

    Brittny – The line was supposed to read "bow" not "box". I've fixed it now. Thanks for bringing it to my attention…

  49. Sara says:

    Living life inside yourself, years spent trying to dodge the lies, but always living within a certain unreality. To me, this brings back thoughts and the shame of becoming that person that I never wanted to be. The one who makes too few excuses for too many mistakes made by one that I love, mistakes that have broken me beyond all imagining but that I allow to continue simply because I accept the burden of blame. After all, if it's my fault, I can fix it, right? Not seven years, merely 5, but still it is 5 too many. Yet even in the knowledge of the cycle that I allow to continue, I cannot stop the pattern, or maybe I just won't. Tomorrow is just one more day that I'll allow myself to be broken, and live in the shelter that I've built around myself with meaningless excuses. Your poetry is wonderful, and deep, it demonstrates a truth that not all want to see, and perhaps, sometimes, reconfirms the truths of the emotions that rage within all of us.

  50. The asshole of the year says:

    Thanks Raven for writing that poem down. If I didn't read this poem, I still would of been an asshole. This showed me something that is really special to me.

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