The Truth

It hurts too much to write
as I sit here to tell you my life
my mind wants to cry
and fill this page with pure
blasphemy and hate. But the pain
just grips me tighter as time
begins to wear at my soul
and I punish myself
for all the evil I've done
My life is lost and hate
has conquered my soul today
so as you read this
you are reading the words
of a man who has died inside
the words of a man who
has lost the fight to find love
and lost the fight to find some hope.
You are reading the words
of a man who's death
would not matter because
it's already happened once before.
Yet I walk and yet I breathe
as if to torture what's left
for the years that remain.
I am a broken man and one
who can never be fixed.
I ask you not to pray for me
nor to wish me well.
Because your words can not change
what has already happened
because what is said is done
and my soul is gone and it
can not be returned
Have no words for me my friend
just leave me alone here to cry
just let me drown in my tears
so I may complete what began
all of those years ago.
I ask you
let me die alone…