Looking toward the future
with a frightened eye
staring down uncertainty
trying to pass the quiet nights
without letting my mind go astray
There are too many thoughts
I can't bear to think
too many possibilities
I don't have the courage to consider
I'm not scared of the future
just blinded by dreams gone awry
living in a past
checkered with defeats
and cradling ideals long since lost and forgotten
No journey has gone the direction I planned
No sprint has moved at the pace I wanted
So now I sit here
completely out of dreams
pining for what should have been
but never will be
frightened by possibilities turned into destinies
and clinging on to improbable hope
slipping through my fingers
Uncertain about everything
save what I fear
Destined for nothing
but what I despise
There is no glorious future
there is no happy end
just a game of self-deceit
that never quite fulfills
Every day of my life. You did an excellent job describing the normality of everyday life where we just push on trying to fight for things we know we want or can do, but that always seem to fall out of reach and leave us with a feeling of hopelessness… at least for myself anyway. I'd also say that "Voice of One" pretty much describes the feeling of getting back of again from that hole pure and simple.
"…getting back UP again from that hole pure and simple." (just woke up.. not all there yet :p)
Great poem Raven! This can sometimes describe me when I am confused, or everything goes wrong.
i love ur poems…they're always awesome..this one is really good for me lately since not a damn thing has been going right…keep on writing!!!
Cool poem, loved it. keep up the good work
Very true, and extremly close to home yet again Raven. You always seem to manage that. Reading your words I am flooded with visions of my own experiances that fit in with your descriptions. And very often it helps make sense of things by seeing it infront of you. A great piece of writing. xXx
I can relate to this poem.
wow…this is a great poem. I like it alot Raven… I'm glad I met you.
that was amasing. i really loved that.
this is truly a uniqe poem and i often find myself displaying acts of uncertainty when making a descion, and if i were to make a mistake i often question my misconceptions, and why i had them in the first place, so all in all, i try to write poems of my own for that release that i need, so keep writing, you're good at it!
With love: Fred
Hey Raven, I'm a first time poster and long time reader. I thought this poem was good and that it shows that poetry is your thing in your writing style. Being a fellow writer myself, I'm a short story kind of guy and can't write poetry to save my life. You've shown me an interesting style of poem where you make it easy to relate to but also give it a distant, fantasty motif. Nice job!
And how is this different from the last hundred poems?
Quote:
I'm not scared of the future
just blinded by dreams gone awry
living in a past
checkered with defeats
and cradling ideals long since lost and forgotten
The "lost and" in the last line kind of disrupts the flow of the poem.
This isn't a great poem, but it's not necessarily a bad one. It just seems to be the same as most of your other poems. Darkness, despair, great sorrow. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that the poems are all written in the exact same way as the other ones were. Which I suppose you can claim to be a stylistic material, but I've always thought that what made a great poet was the ability to talk about the same idea in each poem, but have it feel like an entirely different idea.
Overall I think it's a rather mediocre piece. You can do better.
Please don't take this as a flame, I only mean to help you improve your writings. Remember: Some would rather drown in praise than to be saved by criticism.
-Kowareta
"Qouth the Raven Nevermore."
~Edgar Ellen Poe~
Very dark….
Darkest Blessings
Too direct, and yet too vague.
The language and style is too direct to allow for a well-developed suggested sense, but at the same time you seem to avoid being very direct and precise on the conceptual level. For poetry to have a universal appeal, the language and style of a poem should not try to express 'universal' emotions by stripping them from all personal, realistic and deictic elements. Rather, the best poems are direct descriptions of a particular incident or scene, which are described in such a direct and vivid way that the reader can easily absorb himself in them, and through the poetic medium, identify with the emotions the poems embody. See, for example, the poems of such diverse persons as Wordsworth, Dickinson, Frost, Poe, Baudelaire, Hopkins, …
dearest raven,
this poem is unquestionably the finest thing you have ever written.
dear raven-
i like this poem so much for im off to college in a month and i am really touched by this poem. i love your writing, keep it up.
~em
ya i love this poem another amzing piece of work. Soon i shall be entering the wolrd of college and i have no idea what im doing, hopefully becoming an artist of any kind that can survive in the world we live in today.
~Brandon
i really like ur poem, it touches my soul,
Awsome! Great site
i dont even want to think of today much bare the thoughts of tomorrow the way u wrote it reminds me so much of my nitemares u r truelyy a great writer
you write some amazing poems.
i just resently starded writing poems of darkness and entering them in contests in my english class.
i think im a good writer but your better.
this is great stuff, i could swear i feel exsacly like this most of the time. ur a great write, i've writen some short storyes and some poems, but there nothing compared to what u can do.
dear raven i am new to this site and i just wanted to say that this poem is truly some of the best work i have ever seen i write poems and post them on myspace but mine pail in comparrison to your,s you are truly talented i hope to be as good a poet as u someday u are an insperation to me thank u
thats really deep.at my school thers not alot of us.theres like three, so its cool to find someone who feels the same way
This is an awesome poem…so universal in content. Having had many 'dreams gone awry" I thought myself doomed to wander sadly across the moonlight alone until I read this. (Others think I'm wandering somewhere just left of the twilight zone.) I wish you'd do a post explaining what you meant by self-deciet. I hope it's not self deciet to hope after years of 'dreams gone awry' it will always be that way.
hey
I can understand this vagueness compleatly.
I have read the other comments and believe those that have asked questions or put down this poem have not been in the situation where this poem touches. maybe they are lucky but i believe not.
I CAN RELATE CAUSE PEOPLE TELLME IM EMO SURE I AM BUT IT HELPS ME REALIZE IM NOT ALONE
THANK YOU ALL WHO DONT JUDGE THE GOTHIC PEOPLE THAT ARE OUT THERE WRITEING POETRY LIKE ME AND RAVEN:(